She usually visits my house when I least expect it. It can be just before I go to bed, while I’m getting ready for the day, or right after lunch. No matter. She has no respect for my time and she seems to prefer dropping in so that I am surprised and unprepared. Rude.
Before any official announcement of her arrival, I can almost sense that she is there. She is almost always accompanied by her black-robed cousin, Fear. In fact, somehow Fear is able to sneak into my house and then she opens the door for my unwelcome visitor and lets her in.
My visitor looks like me, except her eyes are different. Her eyes lack vitality. There is a darkness in her countenance. Her hair is often disheveled. I have heard there are moments of desperation when she pulls at her hair or nervously runs her fingers through her tresses. Her mouth is pulled tight. Her skin is blotchy with patches of pale pink juxtaposed against crimson red. She is ugly, for sure. And she scares me when I see her.
She never says, “Hello.” She simply rushes in and takes over my household. Her voice is loud and high-pitched. The things she says are harsh. It seems like she is able to dig very deep into wounds and produce foul and hurtful statements that sting everyone around her. People cower and try to hide when she arrives. Except me. I cannot escape her. She attaches herself to me and follows me wherever I go. I feel her weight and it drains me of physical and emotional energy.
I don’t like this visitor. It is so difficult to make her leave. I want her to go away and never come back! Sometimes I can get her out of my house, but then I feel her lurking around the corner as she waits for an opportunity to slip back in the door. I need new strategies to keep her out.
I need fences around my house that make it more difficult for her to get in. Maybe I can get a guard dog that will keep her from getting too close. Perhaps stronger locks on my door can prevent her from intruding again.
Until I manage to find more ways to keep her away, I will politely put a sign on my front door:
Trauma is not welcome here.